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Rebel XTi/400D replacement specs

I recently scooped the world by revealing the specifications of the Nikon D90, a camera that supersedes a model that is itself not even on the market yet!

Now I'm about to do the same, by revealing some specifications I found after rummaging around in the trash outside Canon's Marketing H.Q. in Japan. I couldn't believe my luck when I found the final proofs of the brochure for Canon's new low-end consumer DSLR.

Introducing the Canon Rebel Ye11

In a surprise move, Canon isn't naming the new camera the 450D in Europe, and is instead moving to the Rebel designation worldwide (except for Japan). The new model is to be called the Rebel Ye11.

What follows is a complete run-down of the exciting all-new features you can expect to find in this new model.

Introducing 'groovy' modes

In an effort to ensure it has the greatest number of superfluous features (they're still the only maker to put a Print button on their DSLR bodies), Canon have one-upped even themselves with the introduction of groovy modes.

These apply 60's-style psychedelic funk to any image...in-camera! Now you can take a picture of anything, and the resulting image will look like you took it while tripping out on acid.

That's right folks, the image will be distorted, feature massive colour shifts, and include random pockets of blurry image. Of course, you can get the exact same effect from the standard 400D kit-lens, so a cynic might ask 'what's new?'

Well, buster, what's new is that you now have full control over the amount of groove-factor you add to your image. And you have access to these groovy effects even if you're using 'L' glass.

New lens range: 'M' glass

Canon's top level of glass is known as 'L' glass, and some believe the 'L' stands for Luxury. But Canon doesn't want its lower-end customers to feel left out, so it has rebranded its cheaper glass and given it the designation 'M' glass.

As with the 'L' in L glass meaning Luxury, the 'M' in M glass also stands for something. In this case, the 'M' in M glass stands for medioca.

Flash n' the box

We've all been there, haven't we? There you are taking a picture at a party, and you need to use the in-camera flash. Before you know it, nasty red-eye makes an appearance, and all your friends end up looking like the unholy love-child of Linda Blair and the Antichrist.

The new Canon eliminates red-eye caused by on-board flash forever, using it's new 'flash n' the box' technology.

This brilliant innovation has the flash mounted in the usual position, but when you press the shutter, the flash is actually fired up into the air on a spring. A sensors detects when the flash is about to reach its apex, and causes it to fire.

Because the flash is so high above the lens, red-eye is eliminated forever.

'Flash n' the box' provides even more benefits, because everyone you photograph will be caught completely by surprise. They'll look up at the flash just as it fires, allowing you to capture the far more pleasing upward-glance pose that professional portrait photographers prefer.

You'll also eliminate all those forced smiles and rictus-style grins, and instead capture a more classical open-mouthed gape. As is well known among experienced photographers, such gapes conform to the golden ratio, adding balance to the overall composition.

Canon one-ups Nikon again

Just when Nikon thought they had the march on Canon, they're once again trumped by the superior engineering of the world's number one seller of DSLRs.

Yes, the D200 introduced an absolutely gorgeous vertical banding-mode. This was hard to see at 100% on screen, but if you were prepared to enlarge to 200%, you'd see a delightful corduroy effect applied to parts of your image.

Until now, Canon wasn't even able to come close to matching this feature. Now, instead of simply catching up, Canon have surpassed it. And unlike Nikon, this new feature will appear in their entry-level model first.

The new Rebel Ye11 will feature advanced plaid banding. That is, you'll be able to shoot images with both vertical and horizontal banding. Random pockets of plaid cross-hatch patterns will appear all over the image. Even better, you'll be able to see plaid banding^TM at 100%, and one full stop sooner than the inferior corduroy banding that appears in some D200 images.

Two new utility buttons

Canon introduced the print button to its DSLRs, and their competitors still haven't caught up. Now Canon raises the bar even further by introducing two brand-new utility buttons...

Raspberry button
Colour button

The raspberry button (i.e. Bronx Cheer) is something we've needed for a long time.

How often have you been quietly taking photos in a public place, when some obnoxious person comes along and starts harassing you? Now you need not even waste the air in your lungs when dealing with such people. Simply press the Raspberry button, and your Rebel Ye11 will make the appropriate response for you.

The colour button is extremely useful when the person who is harassing you, isn't impressed by the long slow raspberry your DSLR has just directed at them. If they don't get the joke, you could be in for a rough ride! But don't worry, Canon has always taken their customer's safety very seriously indeed. Simply press the colour button and all will be well.

This changes the colour of your DSLR from black to lavender, which is thought to be very soothing. Your angry encounter will quickly work itself out, and you'll probably find yourself invited to a local organic cafe for a nutritious mug of dandelion tea.

More built-in goodies

Canon is obviously keen to maintain its lead in the DSLR market, and so has conducted plenty of market research to find out which new features it should install in its entry-level camera.

One surprising addition is to be found in the vertical grip for the new Rebel Ye11. Apart from the extra battery capacity, exposure buttons and so on, the new grip also features a built-in Pez dispenser.

The Canon brochure I'm looking at right now, claims one of the main causes of camera shake is low blood sugar. By including a Pez dispenser, Canon hope to remove one more impediment to a good image.

Expanded lens-mount adapter

Canon's marketing material claims the company is interested in expanding the photographic possibilities for its photographers. With that in mind, Canon have developed a new lens-mount adapter. This new adapter allows Rebel Ye11 users to mount the Hubble Space Telescope to their DSLR.

The brochure does say that you shouldn't do this unless you're also using the optional vertical grip, as you'll almost certainly need the extra support.

Canon feel that this fills the one remaining gap on the telephoto end of their lens range. Finally, it will be possible for you and I to photograph the very edge of the universe.

As you know, the edge of the universe was created during the big bang. This means Rebel Ye11 owners will be among the first to photograph the event as it happens (a first for consumer DSLRs). This gives Canon users a chance to submit saleable images of the big bang to stock libraries long before those who shoot with Nikon.

Canon claims this is possible only because of the superior high-ISO performance of their DSLR range. The company points out there wasn't much light around for the first few million years of the Universe, so you need very good high-ISO performance.

The brochure recommends underexposing by 2 stops, and correcting in post.

Even better in-camera help than Nikon

Nikon DSLRs feature in-camera help-screens that give users a brief explanation about each menu item. Canon have decided to one-up Nikon by introducing even better in-camera help.

That's why Canon has licensed Clippy, the helpful 'Assistant' in Microsoft Office. That's right, Rebel Ye11 users will have in-camera help provided by Clippy, the most-loved of Microsoft's animated Assistants.

Custom shutter sounds

Mobile (cellular) phone users have benefited from custom ring-tones for ages now. Who could forget such welcome ring-tone classics as The Crazy Frog?

Canon are now proud to introduce custom shutter sounds. These will be available for download from Canon's website, at just $0.50 per sound-byte.

Custom sounds can be applied to all manner of camera actions, not just the shutter. For example...

Deleting an image
Turning the camera on
Low battery warning
Pez dispenser

In fact, you can assign a custom sound to every in-camera button, error, and menu-function. What's not to like about that? Of course, you may be wondering how the Rebel Ye11 actually generates these sounds...

Dolby 7.1 surround

In our Nikon D90 scoop, we revealed that Nikon plans to introduce Dolby 5.1 surround in their next camera.

Once again, Canon will stomp all over Nikon's ambitions by introducing full Dolby 7.1. Sure, you'll need to carry 7 speakers, 7 stands, cabling, and a vary large battery pack with you, but that's a small price to pay when you wipe the smug look right off the face of D90 users.

The new Dolby surround is especially useful if you're into birding...

New feature for birding

The new Canon will be of special interest to birders, because you can now download the mating call of every species on Earth direct from Canon's web site.

That's right, you'll be able to attract birds directly to your camera thanks to the extreme accuracy of Canon's Dolby 7.1 surround stage. Birds will be drawn right to the central point of the sound stage, which just happens to be 10 metres in front of your lens.

All you need to do is select the birding icon from the exposure mode dial, enter the desired species via the main dial, and your camera will start playing the correct mating call. It will then automatically focus on the correct point, select appropriate exposure information, and wait for you to press the shutter.

And of course, you can also assign the mating call to your shutter. Instead of scaring birds away, your shutter will actually bring more of them right down to the point of focus.

Even smaller. Even lighter

The original Rebel was small. The Rebel XT was even smaller. Both look gigantic compared to the new Rebel Ye11.

Canon have managed to capture Timelord TARDIS Technology, allowing them to store most of the camera's internals in 4-dimensional space.

In other words, the inside of the camera is bigger than the outside. What you see is only that part of the DSLR that pokes out of 4-dimensional space into our everyday world.

It's a brilliant idea, greatly reducing the size and weight of DSLR technology. A recent internal and top-secret Canon document (sent to me by accident) confirms the company plans to use this technology to place a full-frame sensor in the next Powershot Digital Elph.

There is also speculation that Canon will use this same technology to put eight 1,000GB SATA hard drives in a RAID 0 array in their next 1Ds professional body. This will provide unprecedented storage capacity. What's more, I've heard they also plan to squeeze a 42 inch plasma HD screen into this model, using 4-dimensional space to store it. When you need it, just slide it out through the slot provided.

After that, you'll never be able to go back to those puny 3 inch LCDs we have to put up with right now.

Yeah, but how many megapixels?

Of course, many people will want to know if the new Rebel is getting more megapixels.

The Rebel Ye11 is the first canon to store its image sensor in 4-demensional space. For this to be possible, a new Schrodinger sensor has been developed. Unfortunately, as a result it's impossible to say how many megapixels there are without violating the Heisenburg uncertainty principle.

Canon was able to employ a quantum mechanic, who worked out that the new model has a probability of between 8 and 12 megapixels at any given time. He also pointed out that if you were to actually measure the number of pixels, this would effect the number you get in any given image.

Canon believe it's better not to count them at all, and simply enjoy the excellent detail and superb high-ISO images on offer.

The open CF door problem

Canon DSLR's seem to have a problem when it comes to opening the CF door. You really can lose anything in the buffer, and as has been pointed out on DPReview, this simply isn't good enough.

Canon haven't quite addressed this problem, but have ameliorated the situation somewhat. Now, when you open the CF door, the camera will play the rather ominous Toccata and Fugue in D minor by J.S. Bach.

This is a classy way to warn you something bad is happening.

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